I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
