u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
