woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
well you can't waste a boner
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
