he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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