I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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