I accidentally burped into my bong.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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