hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just forgot I was standing up.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
