Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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