Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize