Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
