I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
