I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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