Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
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Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
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This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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