I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
look no pants
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
