I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
