Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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