He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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