well most of my day revolves around power hour
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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