I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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