these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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