Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
