ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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