I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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