No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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