Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
