I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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