seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
