HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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