jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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