The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
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Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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