Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
