i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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