birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
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We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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