If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
