So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
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