I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize