ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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