she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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