sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
