I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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