Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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