Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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