I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
