you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
