this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize