u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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