I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
