I need help removing her.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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