is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
