Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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