he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
