I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
