I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
