I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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