I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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