Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize