I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
