Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
it hurts more in the daytime
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
