It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize