I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize