Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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