Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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