remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
