They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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