is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize