I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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